In early January 2023, I was training to prepare for my first college baseball season. I was ecstatic. I had worked my whole life for the opportunity to compete in collegiate baseball, and it was right around the corner. I had no idea what to expect from college practice, games, travel, locker rooms, and media days, so all I could do was guess and optimistically anticipate the upcoming four months of my life.
Unfortunately, just as I was about to leave California for NY, my mom got her diagnosis. All of my focus on and anticipation for baseball faded when I learned my mom had breast cancer. All I could think about then was the 3,000 miles between Upstate NY and the Bay Area and how I would not be able to see my mom often during her treatment. My mom was my first and best coach/teammate. For as long as I can remember, anytime I’ve gone through hardships, my mom has been the most critical person I’ve had, supporting me. I felt highly obligated to help my mom in any way possible, making the trip back to school all the more difficult.
While part of me froze and felt I was abandoning my family by leaving, my mom reassured me by telling me how she’d planned for this. My mom never wanted to have cancer but was always prepared to deal with that curveball if it came her way. The COVID-19 pandemic occurred during my junior and senior years of high school. As a result, my school canceled both my junior and senior proms. My mom recognized how this affected me and my peers and took it upon herself to organize a prom event for my senior class, bringing 175 classmates together. Covid was a curveball; my mom was adaptable and ready to make the most of the new situations. While you may prefer that life will fly by you consistently, like a fastball, my mom demonstrated how you can still be prepared for the twists and turns life throws at you. I know that my mom was always ready to attack the turmoil of day-to-day life. She is the greatest problem solver I know. I imagine everyone lucky enough to know her can attest to how she approaches issues. Methodically, meticulously, and always with a calm demeanor, she seems to know the right thing to do. Her experience with cancer and treatment further demonstrated her adjustability and ability to crush curveballs.
For me, 3,000 miles away, I recognized how much joy my mom got from watching me compete for Hamilton baseball. While she could not attend too many games in person because we live so far apart, I knew she was watching every at-bat and live stream of my games. It did not matter if I was 4-4 or 0-11; I knew my mom was excited about every game and every at-bat. While she always loves it when I ball out, she is happy to see me playing baseball with my buddies. There was never pressure, but whenever I could call her after my games and talk about the day, I was super happy to share the moments with her. I had her with me on the field, with her birthday and initials on my hat's inner ring. I could support my mom from a distance by succeeding and having fun doing what I love.
My mom asked me to write weekly letters describing my weeks and games from my perspective. She would read them during her weekly treatments, and I know they added some joy to an overwhelmingly bleak experience. It was tough for me to focus on the days my mom spent in the hospital. I had hectic days where I was worried for my mom's well-being throughout the day. The letters I wrote to her served as an outlet for the anxiety manifested during those days. While my mom requested that I write her letters to help bring her a smile on her infusion days, they served a second purpose: writing the letters connected me more closely to her and made me feel less anxious. I feel more connected to my mom during those days.
My mom planned to visit Florida to watch me play during my spring break trip. My team flew to Orlando, Florida, to play ten games in 12 days. This Florida trip was the only time I expected to see my mom in the spring semester. After we had boarded the flight, but before we’d taken off, there were complications with the airplane. We had to deplane and experienced a 6-hour delay. Throughout this time, I was terrified that I would not get to see my mom. Nothing I could do could affect the flight status, so I paced throughout the airport. Luckily, I had my teammates with me. Without them, I would’ve felt very alone. My teammates who knew about my mom's diagnosis were there for me; they talked with me and gave me all the updates regarding our trip. My teammates, who did not know about my mom's diagnosis, were there for me in a different way; they reminded me of my job. Regardless of my feelings, I had a duty to be a great teammate to everyone. Having my teammates around enabled them to support me by reminding me to focus on what was in front of me. I am eternally grateful for my teammates who encouraged me to power through a highly stressful time. Ultimately, the plane got up in the air, and we arrived in Orlando at 3 A.M. with our first game that same day. I saw my mom first thing that morning for breakfast. Afterward, I was ready to focus on baseball.
I am so proud of the way my mom approached and dealt with her cancer diagnosis. While I was scared throughout her entire treatment, I remained fully confident in my mom's approach/ability to crush the curveballs life throws at you. My mom is a warrior, and no curveball can catch her unprepared. She is an inspiration. While dealing with one of the scariest diagnoses of her life, she encouraged me to keep on living by doing what I loved to do, providing her with extra strength that helped her win her battle against breast cancer.